I'd do anything for that boy

Miles. A little name for a little boy. Today my love, you turn six. A whole hand and then some. Although you are tiny for your age you have big heart. You are so good, so loving.  You are in tune with other people’s emotions around you. I think this is one of your greatest qualities. This makes you able to comfort and empathise with those around you. This is what makes you such a good friend.

When I found out I was having a boy, I cried. In the doctor’s office. For real.  President Obama had just been inaugurated, and I was drooling over those coats Malia and Sasha wore. “Two little girls I could dress up!” In fact I think big sister screamed “What about a baby sister!” The anticipation of having a son gave me great anxiety.

I didn’t grow up with brothers, or a father, so what was I supposed to do with A BOY?!  

Alas, the day came for your arrival. You can read about that here.

This next part sounds cliche, but it is true:  I loved you the moment they laid you in my arms. Sweet, sweet, Miles.  From that moment on we were inseparable. You only wanted me to hold you. You would cry if daddy, grandpa, or anyone else held you. You knew who your mother was. You loved her, and she loved you.

Big sister loved you as well. She beamed with pride whenever anyone asked if you belonged to her. I know you don’t always get along now, but you will later on, I promise.


Sometimes when I look at you and your sisters sleeping, I cry. I cry because time seems to pass by too quickly.  You all are growing too fast for my tender mother’s heart.

When I stare at you and smile, you say “I’m going to be little FOREVER so I can stay with you!”  That is a sweet thing to say. Such a ‘Miles’ thing to say.  I know one day you won’t want to hold my hand. One day you’ll leave. One day you will be way too big to sit on my lap.  

“... Inside every boy lies a heart that beats. And sometimes it screams, refusing to take defeat... And sometimes the boy has to dream his own dreams and break through the clouds with his own sunbeams.”  Ben Behunin

So until that time, I will cherish every moment we have together. We’ll play trains, annoy your sisters together, and get into lots of mischief.  I love you.

The swiffer can wait

The swiffer can wait

"I HATE my face!" Lies we tell, and bridging the gap to self acceptance.

"I HATE my face!" Lies we tell, and bridging the gap to self acceptance.