Reflections On My 35th Year

***I started a tradition in 2015 where I wrote letters to myself on my birthday. These letters contain lessons I learned in the last year and things I wish for this year. Click on the date to read the other years.  Here are the past two years letters 2015 2016 2017 ***

---

Hey boo!

Congrats on another trip around the sun! What a trip it was!

Today we add another year of life. 36. We are KILLING it in our mid thirties.

Thirty-five was a whirlwind. A never ending journey of lessons, opportunities, and

challenges in which you slayed!

Year 35 you stayed true to your voice. You used your voice, and you raised your voice.

In print, on television, and in Sunday school classes.  

Truth and boldness are your armor, and due to our  audaciousness, we are pushed

forward in arenas that we may not have been in otherwise.

"Be bold when others are scared."

-Thomas J. Powell

No more playing small, shrinking and conforming to fit the narrative that people think

you should fit.  We know that we are not doing anyone favors by hiding behind masks.

The only masks we enjoy wearing are the clay ones ones a week!

You are truly out here living your best life and are unapologetic about it.

You have a sense of urgency. The kids are getting older, and more independent. You

realize your time with them is most sacred. You say no to more things. Your time is

sacred. Your time is precious.  You wonder if you have been a good mother, if you’ve

taught them the things they need to know beyond tying shoes. Things, like empathy,

serving others, etc.

You feel the need to write, and document. People that you thought would always be

with you start slipping away. It breaks your heart. This reality creates a need to not

only document their stories, and your memories of them, but to document YOUR

story. The day to day mundane things, that someone may want to know about you.

You tell everyone that will listen to you to  document their story. It becomes your

unofficial theme this year, and you write and write until your hand cramps.  

Creating has always been our thing, and you start creating things that you wish you

saw. You hone in on your sewing skills and start making the clothes that you wish you

could buy.

You feel happiest when you are creating.

It's a burning desire inside you that you can

never silence. On the days in which you are not creating, you feel it and your family

feels it. You vow to create every day. Whether it be writing, photographing, or creating

a welcoming space, you do it. You do it because you will literally choke and suffocate

if you don’t.

Just like in year 34, year 35 we value our alone time. We need time to decompress and

recharge. We enjoy socializing, but we realize that it at times literally sucks the life out

of us.

You take your online friendships offline and have made dear friends with them in real

life. People that you cherish and consider family. People that you need to continue to

push you, help you, heal you.

You value connection and community.

 

Your work takes off, and it is overwhelming, frightening, and exhilarating. People know

who you are. You embrace the crazy because it has something that you have worked

hard for and prayed for for so long.  

You are an unstoppable force for change and good.

This year we finally renewed our passport and took off. A girl’s trip to Cuba was just

what you needed to reset your creativity and find parts of you that you lost this year.

In year 36 we will travel more, continue to be unapologetically fierce, and fall in love

with everything that we are.

---